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MOVIE REVIEW

Altered Assholes

Released: Feb 01st, 2005
Running Time: 157
Director: John Strong
Company: John Strong Productions
Distribution Companies: Platinum X Productions
Cast: John Strong, Michael Stefano, David Perry, Manuel Ferrara, Jayna Oso, Vanessa Lane, Chiquita Lopez, Katja Kassin, Tyla Wynn
Critical Rating: AAAA
Genre: Gonzo

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SYNOPSIS

More Plat X primo jackoff fodder for raincoaters of all shapes, stripes and sizes.

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REVIEWS

 

Critical Rating: AAAA

Your solo strokers will certainly get their money's worth with this one.

Clocking in at 157 minutes (with the extras, we suppose it is more than three hours long as the box promises), Altered Assholes' hard-edge scenes just keep going and going and going like the proverbial porno Energizer bunny - anal intensive round robins where d.p.s are followed by double A's followed by more d.p.s. followed by more double A's followed by – well, you get the picture.

While all five scenes are strong, par for the course for director John "I-don't-call-myself-Strong-for-nothing," a couple are standouts. They include the opener, in which gorgeous Jayna Oso's asshole really gets altered care of the simultaneous swords of Mike Stefano and Strong, and scene two, a smackdown between Euro heavyweights Katja Kassin and Manny Ferrara, the latter of whom at one point sticks four toes in her butt, then has her A2M 'em, and later, facializes her while she's staring up at him, choking down a butt blaster. Haven't seen those particular tricks before.

As for the other scenes, newcumer Vanessa Lane is very sexy, but needs to be more aggressively pro-active; super newcumer Chiquita Lopez is - sorry to be stereotypical, but it's true - a real firecracker; while Tyla Wynn is, in her own words, "a dirty, filthy whore," and by her antics in the closer, she ain't just whistlin' Dixie.

Pre-noms: Best Anal-Themed Feature; Best Sex Scene Coupling (Kassin and Ferrara).


 

Related Content:

Platinum X Productions
John Strong Productions
John Strong
Michael Stefano
David Perry
Manuel Ferrara
Jayna Oso
Vanessa Lane
Chiquita Lopez
Katja Kassin
Tyla Wynn
John Strong

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