Darkside Legends

Released: Oct 01st, 2005
Running Time: 99
Director: Simon Saint
Company: Saint Entertainment
Cast: Kris Knight, Richard Raymond, Melissa Lauren, Nautica Thorn, Kelly Kline, Vanessa Lane, Lauren Phoenix, Marco (I), Trent Saluri, Jack Venice
Critical Rating: AAA
Genre: All-Sex

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This formulaic, by the numbers offering from director Simon Saint reads like an imitation of porn; it has some beautiful people performing all the right moves, but still fails to inspire. Even narrator Vanessa Lane appears the imitation of a porn star, annoyingly acting out all the nuances of how she thinks a porn girl would act, but it winds up going down like treacle.

The put-on moans of the bored-looking Kelly Kline start things off, followed by the blah Melissa Lauren stupidly rubbing herself with strawberries. Nautica Thorn and Otto Bauer, thankfully, heat things up with a fantastically energetic reverse cowgirl followed by a hot anal scene with the vocally charged Lauren Phoenix.

Retailing: Stick this on your low-rent shelf next to all the other bland white people fucking.