Released: Feb 01st, 2006
Running Time: 90
Director: Alex Sau Paulo
Company: Heatwave Entertainment
Cast: Joe Kwel, Sarah (I), Joey (I), Horny Granny, Linda (I)
Critical Rating: AAA 1/2
When Frank Zappa unleashed Baby Take Your Teeth Out to an unsuspecting public in 1984, it was received as yet another outrage in the FZ oeuvre. The master would be amused to learn that his fiction becomes fact in the latest Grandma vid. Indeed, Horny Granny issues a gum job to Kwel in what possibly would've been nominated as a Most Outrageous scene - had the videographer been alert enough to capture a rarely seen toothless hummer. No such luck. Once the bridge is out, neither FEMA nor the director can save this scene.
After a rather benign segment with roly-poly Sarah, the release races into high gear. Well, shuffles is closer to the truth. Linda must have been a looker in her day - probably around 1325 BC. This is the girl King Tut took to the prom. She takes on both Joes with an enthusiasm that will make the average audience cringe - and the target viewer harder than a Latin spelling test. With rumpled, desiccated flesh hanging loosely on creaky bones, she climbs atop for a cowgirl ride and refreshing facial.
Retailing: For the intended audience, this "old school" boning vid is just a stroke away!