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Released: Apr 01st, 2006
Director: Eon McKai
Company: VCA Pictures
Cast: Felix Viscious, James Deen, Justine Joli, Tommy Pistol, Dana DeArmond, Sierra Sin, Kurt Lockwood, Joanna Angel, Riley Mason, Nyomi Zen, Tiger (I)
Critical Rating: AAAA 1/2
This much-ballyhooed release has the humor and deliciously hazy, neon sleaze of the original 1985 VCA movie of the same name, but that's about where the similarity ends. Director Eon "Don't Call It a Remake" McKai's Neu Wave Hookers is a playful, punkish sexcapade for those average joes who sneaked glances at the sullen girls smoking outside the art department in college and wondered what one of them might look like with a cock up her ass.
Finding an old VCR and video of the original Neu Wave at a yard sale, Joanna Angel and Riley Mason drag the clunky relics home and, after leaping in fright when the ol' top loader opens, make fun of it with their friends. "This movie sucks!" one announces before McKai cuts away to faux footage of the "original" movie. There, Dirty Harry is magnificently creepy as he does his lustful borderline-pedophile routine with the awkward, demure prostitutes he's sent from an escort service. These interludes are more afterschool special (Steffie Can't Come Out to Play - She's Too Busy Whoring could have been the title) than '80s porno, but this is by no means a negative. For those of us who grew up on those cautionary teen tales of corruption and lost innocence that often unintentionally served as promotional materials for smut and vice, they strike a nerve.
McKai intercuts these sexually tense, self-reflexive scenes with clubby music video vignettes. It's like MTV but with cock and hardcore sex. But if you're beginning to wonder if this Neu Wave is all artsy fartsy bark and no bite, think again. The sex scenes are dependably hot and nasty and shot in beautiful diffused light. Sierra Sinn's "first d.p." is gorgeous, as is Joanna Angel's sweet tryst with Kurt Lockwood and James Deen's defiling of petite vixen Riley on a playground.
Although it's innovative, sexy and visually appealing enough to surely stand out as one of the year's best, I wouldn't say this is the perfect fuck flick for every porn lover.
For instance, in a bit where Dana DeArmond is pretending to be Traci Lords at her '80s audition, on screen trivia pops up about the scandal when news broke that Lords was barely 17 when the original film was released and video stores were forced to pull all the copies from their shelves. Additional "fun facts" are that DeArmond had had no idea who Lords was because she "was only a toddler" when the first Neu Wave came out, and that DeArmond is "famous" on the online community juggernaut MySpace.com.
Your average porn consumer might not have any idea what the hell MySpace is; therefore, this mention is emblematic of one of the most interesting things about Neu Wave Hookers: As he did in earlier efforts, what McKai is doing truly is porn for a whole new audience. It's like the earliest days of Saturday Night Live: They don't care if you get it or not. But if you do, great.
This is such uncharted territory that it's presumptuous to make pronouncements about what that audience will want to masturbate to. But for those who pooh-pooh the idea that there aren't enough guys who get off on hot tattooed girls with smeary eyeliner, however, let me direct you to the dollar factory that is Suicidegirls.com.
Pre noms: Best All-Sex Release; Best Director - Non-Feature; Best DVD; Best Videography; Best Packaging
Retailing: Your new alt porn section, perhaps?