Letters to virtually any skin mag are, in the larger realm of erotica, mainly comprised of hack fiction. Video versions fare the same — but at least there's something pleasant to look at while chuckling at clichés. While “tasteful” may not be a major compliment for a veteran pornographer like Holland, the fact is that Freshman First Timers is technically proficient and sexually tepid.

Benign scenarios (parents away, honeymoon, etc.) will only serve to frustrate raincoaters but the target audience will invariably use the vid as kindling to a real fire they light together. The languid ambiance (created by master veteran videographers) is as much the star as the babes, though it appears as if the lens was coated with more vaseline than the performers. If we hadda pick the hottest they'd be Ruby Knox in “back of the bus” and Rebecca Linares as a virgin bride.