Released: May 12th, 2010
Running Time: 83 Min.
Director: Alexander Xoc
Company: Sex Line Sinema
DVD Extras: Behind the Scenes, Dolby Digital, Still Gallery(ies)
Cast: Jay Lassiter, Mya Nichole, Nicole Ray, Jessica Jaymes, Nick Manning, Tabitha Stevens, Cheyne Collins, Monica Mayhem, Kris Slater, Rulon Myles
Critical Rating: AA 1/2
A CSI crime lab is exploding with sperm! There is sperm everywhere at the studio where a Miami photographer fucks his model to the point of exhaustion. The lab technicians mount a series of sexual recreations to test their theories on the sperm trajectories. Never before have so much sex, blowjobs and monumental ejaculations been performed in the name of crime scene investigation!
When porn parodies work (great sex combined with at least some production value or satire of the TV show or movie being parodied), viewers of DVDs or VOD sites can get excited, retailers can ring up some rentals and sales, and everyone is happy. Then there is the dry and humorless CSI: Miami—A XXX Parody.
Everyone tries hard to act and fuck with energy, and the story of a rape victim and perp with overactive ejaculation skills would be the obvious choice for the parody of this nature. But the stilted dialogue just drags the drab story along. In the lab, Nicole Ray finds that a supposed victim is actually not dead, and the only humorous scene in the whole movie occurs when she puts her stethoscope on his hard cock to listen. Pointless, but funny. She and Tabitha Stevens suck him and grab the sperm as evidence, but beyond that, the sex scenes are very basic, connect-the-dot sequences. Nick Manning bangs the beautiful Jessica Jaymes; Monica Mayhem and Kris Slater fuck. Mya Nicole pounces on a hard cock, etc.
Very little in the way of production values here, as of the other Alexander Xoc/Tabitha Stevens productions (Vampire Sex Diaries, Top Heavy Chef, etc.), which are much better conceived and all recommended.