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Released: Jun 05th, 2010
Running Time: 238 Min.
Director: Joanna Angel
Company: BurningAngel Entertainment
Distribution Companies: Vouyer Media
DVD Extras: Behind the Scenes, Outtakes, Still Gallery(ies), Trailer(s), Widescreen
Cast: Kylee Kross, Kleio Valentine, Brian Street Team, Mason Moore, James Deen, Evan Stone, Mick Blue, Dana DeArmond, Joanna Angel, Moretta Coxxx
Critical Rating: AAAA 1/2
Joanna Angel's "Ugly" is the sleaziest and most popular bar in town. It's the place you go when you're looking to lick some booze off a hot bartender's boobs or where you piss in the corner when you've drank too much. One day, health inspector Mick Blue ruins all the fun by threatening to shut the bar down unless it's "brought up to code"; unfortunately, Joanna and her bartenders (Kylee Kross, Kleio and Dana DeArmond) have no idea what that even means! While trying to figure out how to meet the code and save their beloved slut fest haven, an underage, horny kid (James Deen) is determined to make his way past Ugly's strict bouncer, Brian Street Team, who is also busy having "below code" relations on the bar with a sexy female bar patron (newcomer Moretta Coxxx) and—on top of that—their most loyal customer (Evan Stone) refuses to wear a shirt. No one said being a hot bartender chick was easy!
This nearly four-hour extravaganza from Joanna Angel, much like her last big feature, LA Pink, hits upon yet another supremely fitting milieu for the punk pornstress and her band of BurningAngel buds. And not only does it contain some of the most memorable JA-brand humor she's served up over the years, but maybe the strongest overall roundup of sexual showpieces, period.
Though there's a minor nod in Bartenders to that hot-bar-chick crapsterpiece of cinema, Coyote Ugly (the bar where most of it takes place is dubbed "Joanna's Ugly"), in no way does it function as a parody of that film. If anything, its crosshairs are (subtly) aimed at a certain giant porn company's "vocation series" ... as if this movie's very reason for being is to snarl, "Hey look, our dirty little ragtag company can do that too, ya big hotshots!"
It's dirtiness, in fact, that lies at the heart of Bartenders' story. Joanna's bar is a hole-in-the-wall hive of squalor, where the tatted-up barmaids serve shots off their bodies and the patrons literally lick the pools of perpetual overspill right off the counter. When health inspector Mick Blue pays a visit one evening, Joanna finds herself facing sudden shutdown. That is, after she's banged Mick like a wildebeest all over the storeroom. In a totally brilliant and pivotal bit (which we won't ruin), Mick stops just before he's going to pop on Joanna's face and pulls out a tape measure, checking the distance to the wall and repositioning her slightly. The payoff is priceless.
Desperate to figure out how she's going to save the business, Joanna goes with her bargirls Kylee Kross and Kleio to consult with neighbor Dana DeArmond, who's been a serial bride to health inspectors. (While they're away, they leave the place in the hands of bouncer Brian Street Team, who ends up fucking the very cute, braces-sporting, neon red-haired Moretta Coxxx in front of the bar—her very first scene.) Dana doesn't prove of much help, but she does pair up with Kylee in a scalding g/g sesh, which later gives way to a foursome when Joanna and Kleio jump in.
Returning to the bar, sex continues to erupt ... and just gets hotter. In perhaps the best scene, Kleio and Kylee molest underage sneak James Deen in the bathroom. Dana subsequently gets a lacerating anal pounding from Evan Stone on the sink of said bathroom. And to top it all off, there's an epic five-way with Joanna, Kylee, Kleio, James and Mick rife with double penetration (Joanna), anal (both of the other girls), A2M and more nastiness.
With close to another two hours of bonus content on the second disc of this set, including a BTS segment (of which there are several) devoted exclusively to Evan Stone's antics, Bartenders is a monster value for the Joanna Angel fan. It also happens to be among her most winning efforts.